+ News Detail

Some kid that could do that one special trick on that one special handrail turned pro today. He was promptly given his own models in 3 different deck series, a backpack named after him, and a signature shoe line. In other news, in a freak Stalefish 900 accident, Sal Masekela had to be rushed in for emergency surgery to have his lips surgically removed from Tony Hawk's ass. Upon completion of the suregery, his first words were quoted as "...and that's what makes the Birdman soar above all others in his sport!" This just in....that kid that just turned pro has just announced he is starting his own board company and will begin production later this week....team members to be determined shortly. In more news...it has been confirmed.....Bob Burnquist is in fact an alien...this finally explains how he is able to easily manipulate our Earth's gravity at will. He was spotted heading into his MotherShip after completeing 2 complete back to back full pipe loops at the Burnquist Compound....or "New Area51" as it is called....and that about wraps up today's news....oh wait...a breaking announcment just in... that kid who turned pro earlier today has been kicked off his team and is no longer pro. His board company has also apparently folded. At least he has the 7th grade to fall back on.....that's all the news... or could have been. =)